About a couple of years ago, I was asked by the second child if there is ever a chance that a new member will join our family. Well, I let him know that our quota is full as we have already adopted one. If ever a new member has to come, that must grow in a tree as we were done.
An incredible journey
I was having fertility treatment for four years, and it culminated in IVF treatment. This is when we decided to adopt a child. At the same time, I was taking shots and bracing myself for home study. I had a firm resolve to have a back-up plan that will help me to get my mind away from IVF if it failed to work.
I was able to pick up my pieces.
It was quite hard to admit that our infertility treatment has failed in producing desired results. If undergoing through IVF was painful, then the frustration of a failed procedure is even more painful. Our last hopes rested on IVF. We knew that if it did not work for us, we would run out of all options medically. In our case, we were all done with it.
We have hoped against all hopes. It seemed that we were done and dusted this time around. The mental trauma and grief are simply unexplainable. Suddenly I was becoming a pessimist and was haunted by the fear of failure in all aspects of life even about adopting a child.
Today when I look back at the disappointments that I have endured, I feel that it was a great life lesson. Hopelessness is like gangrene; it will overwhelm you if you allow it to have a place in the back of your mind.
I did not succumb, and I saw the light.
I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. We were on a flight back home from the adoption center in Thane. You will often hear a person of faith to say, “Give it to God.” However, it is not an easy pill to swallow for a result-oriented person like me. Even when I did give it to God in the most secret of prayers late in the night tossing and turning in bed, but by dawn, I will again assume things in my hand and, as a result, the ping of hopelessness when things did not go our way.
During this flight, I realized that we were out of options. I did whatever I could. After your years of unsuccessful infertility treatment and applying for adoption, we had our only hope in God’s goodness. We had to give it to God. Suddenly we were again inflating a Kindle of hope, and why not? Maybe the Lord has something positive in store for us. Thus, I hoped, I believed, I prayed and gave it to God.
Four months later
We were on a boat trip from Mumbai to Goa when our son weighing five-pound and six ounces were born. A week ago, we received a call from the agency that a birth mother has chosen us. As we were making plans to meet her following Monday, we came to know that the baby was one-month premature. All of a sudden, after more than four years of endless toil, we were parents.
When our son was almost a year old, I came to know that I was pregnant. However, life is full of surprises; you never know when life can run you out. Ten weeks in the pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. The feeling was terrible. It appeared that I had been punished for no fault of mine. I did not understand what game out fortune stars were playing with us. First, it kindled hope, and then suddenly, it all blew away.
Miscarriage is always painful; however, I realized that my body was capable of conceiving. Four months later, at the age of 38, I took a firm decision to undergo IVF treatment. At five weeks into the cycle, we were blessed that a twin was growing inside me. However, at six weeks, we were unfortunately down to one. I gave birth to a baby boy at 9 months 10 days. But again, there was an infamous surprise waiting to unfold. Nine days after giving birth, I came to know that the baby has life-threatening thyroid problems that will hinder physical and mental growth. Thankfully the condition was treatable. It was the miracle of modern medicines. At 10 years old, he did not have to take any medicines, and now at age 13, he is a healthy kid smart and full of energy.
Today I have no regrets, and no complaint with life. I am thankful that God has given a blessed life for me in the making.